tfw you have a very nice trainee manager in your store but he talks like Ted Bundy and you just can't trust the guy.

I think he has some candy in his van outside. Does this rag smell like chloroform?

My creepy story:

When I was nine years old, I was playing baseball at a neighbourhood park with my best friend. Some guy came up to us and told us he had candy in his car. We'd been well trained. I threw the bat at him and we ran like hell. Unfortunately, neither of us thought to note the make of his car or its license number. I still get nightmares about it.

Posting in the style of the Batlord:

You missed out on a chance to get some free candy though.

My entry:

You should have taken the candy and then bitten his dick off.

tfw a young person you know seems relatively stable and having a good day but they're dead inside and probably beyond help and it makes you feel sorry for their struggle, but you also wonder if people can sense the same thing in yourself

i had a close call myself. i was about 10 or 11. i made pretty much every wrong decision that they say you shouldn't make. i dunno why really... i knew there were perverts out there i just always seem to need to learn things the hard way.

there was this hotel that my aunt/uncle/cousins used to come stay at in florida, and they would get us a room there too. my aunt was a travel agent so she had a way of getting cheap rooms. so this was basically some sort of annual tradition though it didn't happen every single year it happened a lot and usually at some point during the end of the summer.

anyway my cousin is about my age and female. this year she had brought another girl with her too. and i had met some girl at the hotel who was around our age. so we were all basically hanging out around the game room of the hotel and and there were plenty of other kids there too and every once in a while there would be this older looking guy, maybe 50 or so, looked like someone's parent really. we saw him a few times outside the game room and he was pretty friendly and nobody thought anything of it, we just assumed he must be someone's parent.

anyway one time i saw him by myself and he was like you know they leave the key to the roof in the stairwell of this place? how cool would it be to go on the roof of this place. keep in mind it was a pretty tall building and i was from south florida and not really used to heights so to me it sounded pretty cool. so we get up to the top and he pretends to look for the key for a bit. then he sits down and is like man you have some big feet. put your foot right here and lemme see how big it is... indicating to his crotch. and i was like nah... and he was like what is it? money? you want money? let me go get you some money.. and then he ran down the stairs. i dunno if he actually went to get money and come back or if he panicked and realized he couldn't do it. cause realistically there was nobody there to stop him. anyway i counted my blessings and got the **** out of there and warned my cousin and the other kids about him.

sent a friend a death industrial track and he replied "that's great!"

dunno what to make of that

Tfw it's your last day living with the GF. Tomorrow, I'm a free man.

My God it feels good. No more drama, no more bull****, no more dreading every single ****ing minute of being around her. I saw her through cancer and moved in with her 3 years ago to help her out, and now she's 100% recovered, and cancer free. There's absolutely no reason for me to stay with her anymore. There's no love, and there's absolutely no physical attraction. I'd rather be alone, than be with someone that makes me miserable.

Sitting here deciding on whether to hit 'post' or not.

**** it.

Damn. Didn't even know you were having probs.

TFW the Christmas holidays begin.

Don't light up man.

*hoping all goes well - as well as it can*

Yeah, drink instead. But don't go to a bar. You'll buy cigarettes either on the way or on the way back. Just drink at home and play the blues like a boss. Record some of that **** and upload it too. We need some blues straight from the soul on this forum.

You're a hell of a guy to do that, but then everyone knows that anyway. If she's recovered now and there is no love there, you've done the right thing, stood by her and have nothing to feel ashamed or guilty about. Time to make your own life, man. Have some fun. Go make some record executive's day by playing him your demo and getting him to be able to say "Oh yeah! I discovered that guy, you know..." :thumb:

Plank's blues in 5... 4... 3... 2.... - which will slay. No doubt.

this reminds me of curb your enthusiasm when larry gets stuck with that one girl who has cancer and then can't break up with her. you should have done like larry and just cheated on her so that she would leave you instead.

tfw one of your customers named their kid Malacai and you wanna ask them to gtfo before it kills the adults and enslaves the other children.

TFW a girl you've never spoken to before tells you you look like Daniel Craig. O…K…

was she hot?

Nothing extraordinary. It just came out of left field.

Pics or it didn't Daniel Craig.

:laughing: Other than the fact that I'm blonde with blue eyes and smirk a bit when I smile, I really don't see much of a resemblance. Sorry to disappoint.

tfw you just really want to time travel to the appropriate decade but would still probably have to pay someone to wine and dine you 'cause you're ugly

https://secure.static.tumblr.com/da6...gw04s_1280.gif

:(

RissRiss is purdiful. Makes WD sad she doesn't think so, it does.

i could be wrong but sounds like she was flirting with you

Oh well, better luck next Bond.

No ****, Sherlock.

And LiL, you're very good-looking. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

lol just making sure. i know you're young as **** but you do seem smarter than i was at your age.

A Nazi fish lover, eh?

you mean an aryan fish lover.

I think I just need to work on the fine art of seduction in my early-onset middle age. Been getting the cold shoulder from the male kind for a while. :mad:

Batlord, Booth, you two are closer than you think. My great-great-grandfather (might be a great off) was an officer in the Prussian cavalry.

I know that feel. I must come across as such a dumbass dweeb sometimes. My method of flirting involves awkward ping-pong staring at her face and then my feet, a clumsy introduction, and enough alcohol to hopefully only remember those details.

dude, I used to be superfine.

I used to know people that would fucking beg for my touch.

I'm way past my prime now and it makes me so angry.

What?
How old are you? This "prime" you speak of, surely you're not talking about teenage years...

its probably the way you carry yourself tbh... people respond to confidence

I'm 25 but I looked my best at 19 when I had curves and tits and no fine lines on my face/no bags under my eyes or visible signs of permanent damage or exhaustion. Now I'm just thin and grey and worn.

eh. I'm pretty ok with the way I look most of the time and I have more of a personality than I ever did in my entire life.

it's probably just my lifestyle but it's disheartening when most of the human contact you ever get is from hugs from the nice girls you work with.

You're 25. You're in better shape today than you will ever be in 10, 15 years. Capitalize on it. Body shape is malleable until you die. That part is easy. Commit. Lines on the face? Well, might be inevitable, but I doubt you're dealing with the same sort of thing you might be dealing with when you're actually an old person. You're probably being hypercritical about that. Gray? I doubt it. Worn? Well, I'm sure that's more of a state of mind.

Good lord.

STFU.

Some of you 20-something folks here amaze me. And not in a good way.

Bright side being that some of the other 20-something folks here blow my freaking mind in the bestest possible way!

*stepping down off of my cloud*

(seriously, find a way to enjoy breathing. It's fleeting in the grand scheme of things)

Preach. I'm only 33 and I find her post insane.