Dirty as **** but funny.

Bet you piss in the sink as well.

Hey, I haven't done that in years.

I'm shocked that he hasn't been.

TFW you do some basic arithmetic and realize that winter is more than half over!

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/50052613.jpg

oh thank christ, I don't know if I can take much more of this.

Seattle? Trust me, you've got it easy.

I'm just happy that this winter hasn't been a repeat of last year. My baseball games were postponed because the fields were too wet from snow. In ****ing May.

I've only lived here for 3 years.

Before that I lived in California.

I spent some time in Ohio.

But I spent most of my life in Minnesota. I know all about that snow bullshit. :laughing:

:bowdown: You would have probably had it worse than me in Minnesota. It's farther north, for the most part.

Winter is hell in Northwestern Minnesota. Absolute fucking hell.

I walked to the post office one afternoon. I was out for maybe a total of 30 minutes. Came back and my toes were so frozen they made clicking sounds on the linoleum when I was hobbling toward the heater vents. :laughing:

A typical winter day is -20 degrees below zero but the wind chill can bring it down to -50 or -60. I've had to warm a car for over an hour before it would pull itself out of the garage. It's horrible there.

We talking Fahrenheit or Celsius? Because if that's Fahrenheit, Minnesota's even worse than I thought.

Fahrenheit.

:eek: I played hockey for a couple hours in about 5 degree weather on Sunday, and my lips were so cold, it felt like I'd had dental freezing--speaking with a lisp and everything. But -20 is ridiculous for everyday weather.

I swear, in literally any other damn place in the US, the national weather service says shit like "don't go outside unless you need to" - and in Minnesota, that's just winter for ya, dont'cha know.

Tfw I'm trying to send a PM but the spam control is ****ing me over because other people are "using" me (heh)

Whore.

We've had a very brief couple of snowfalls here.

The UK is great. Complete standstill from 1cm of snow. Chaos on the roads and everything.

TFW a friend tries to hit on a girl and she ends up rolling her eyes at you behind his back.

*customer approaching*

Me: Don't talk to me don't talk to me don't talk to me please don't fucking talk to me, fuck off fuck off fuck offfffff

*customer approaching*

Me: Oh please lord, don't talk to me. DON'T. TALK. TO. ME. GO AWAY. PLEASE JUST KEEP WALKING. DON'T TALK TO ME.

Customer: Where can I find *completely random item*/how much would it be/inane question about where the bathroom is when it's right behind you

Me: Ugh.

tfw blasting music when sitting between two big speakers.

Your anus hurts after taking a huge sh*t.

You gotta take the dick out before taking a ****. Just ask Batlord.

I like to call that the "Chocolate Birthday Cake Surprise". Not everybody is ready or appreciative of the Chocolate Birthday Cake Surprise.

Is that what you call it now? Man, wish I'd known before I let you do it to me.

So you'd have known to Blow Out Your Candles?

No. So that I could save the Special Whipped Cream for last instead of going all in.

Do either of us have any idea what we're talking about anymore?

Do we ever?

I don't know, but lick my asshole clean anyway.

I always do.

It's why I never let you kiss me.

tfw you haven't had a single article of clean clothing in two months.

tfw your showers seem pointless as there's no soap or shampoo, just stand there getting wet, and throw on the same clothes you've been wearing for a week and a half after

jk I had a bar of soap. Washed my hair with it and now it feels like plastic.

TFW you pull out a long booger and it slides titillatingly through your various nose canals on its way as you slowly free it from its prison

I love that ****. Feels like you're pulling out part of your brain.

#nosepickersclub

:beer:

Punk as **** :drummer:

ftfy

tfw fuck it all, I'm getting wasted

me too

Chules, check the spam thread.

I posted a pic of your doppleganger.