Tfw you're at your sons soccer game and there's another parent openly drinking a beer

TFW another parent is awesome.

TFW you hear "Break on Through (To the Other Side)" on the radio, and they still play the censored "she gets" version. Can't say "high" on air in 2015?

Eh I dunno if it were a college soccer game maybe but I mean c'mon dude these are six/seven year olds. No need for alcohol.

So if you're at home, you'll never have a beer when your kid is running around the house? I don't really see the difference. You can drink around sporting events. You can drink around kids. So why can't you drink at a kids' sporting event?

Easy: I don't drink at home haha. I very rarely drink.

Hahaha I mean it's not like I said anything to the guy or made a scene or anything like that. But when I do drink firstly I am a mean drunk and secondly I tend to go overboard, which is why I do not drink. I refuse to walk the line that my father choose to walk.

Neerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrdddddddddddddddddd!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

----

TFW you ate too many biscuits.

Not sure I would want to watch a kids soccer game sober. I'm a very friendly drunk.

****ing this, dude. I don't even want to watch real soccer, so why would I have any desire to watch a bunch of people who don't even qualify as amateurs fall down and kick the ball out-of-bounds every thirty seconds? Pass me a Pabst or get me the **** out of here.

Square.

Man, he's a cop. That makes him a narc. Hide your stashes, dudes!

I know right.

Wrong, I can't arrest a civilian unless you're A) standing on US Army property, B) standing on US Gov't property or C) interfering with a US Army operation/activity. So you're pretty safe from me.

*googles to find closest Army or Gov't property*

Time to test The Fiddler's resolve...

Chances are it's not near me so why do I care, exactly? That's somebody else's problem! :p

I just wanted to type "The Fiddler".

http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/...6154_640w3.jpg

As long as you don't call me the fiddler on the roof! I fiddled once on the roof and it was not with my fiddle.

The FIDLAR would be...

nm

wd?! ;)

x2

TFW you google image search Dido but type Didio by mistake and get more than unexpected results.

https://www.google.com/search?q=didi...=1680&bih=925#

All in all, it could have been worse. Or better I guess.

TFW the seagulls fucking on your neighbors roof won't STFU. Little guy went at least 3 minutes strong.

Woke me up at 9am today..

Just shoot the damn thing and go on about your business.

I've never even held a gun.

You can always use a sling shot and a rock and go old school.

tfw you've been sober for two weeks and still don't know where you are half the time. Dissociation is fun... in a kind of scary way.

Three minutes? He's a machine.

It happens all the time down here. Last summer I was on my break sitting outside and they were banging on the parking lot lights. Horny little fuckers.

Based on this video maybe it's not sex cause you know he's on her back... Idk wtf is going on.

same.

I was sober for almost 2 weeks and now I'm on the sauce again.

being sober made me feel just as shitty and confused and out of touch.

That's the alcohol leaving your body. You can do it, though, I believe in you.

I remember the time I had raccoons having sex outside my window. Terrifying.

I want to get clean so badly it's ridiculous, I hate myself for my alcoholism.

Addiction is tough, a lot of my friends are addicts, but that shouldn't stop you. You just have to keep pushing yourself to want to get clean, and ask for help from your friends and family. Don't be ashamed of thinking you'll fail, think about the end goal, what you want, and work towards it. I know it's tough to ask for help, my friends had a lot of problems admitting they were addicts to me or their parents, but that's one of the first steps.

I don't know your situation, and I'm trying not to assume anything, only give what I've experienced myself. If you need to talk about it, or just inform my uneducated ass, just send me a PM.

TFW you're on the toilet, and your shit is so watery that it basically falls out of your ass.

Funny :D

tfw you do a **** with a monstrous radius and it feels like your anus is tearing.

You ever eat a whole bag of popcorn (#witetrashlyfe) and the next day it's all prickly but comes out as fast as diarrea? I love that ****.

Anyway, TFW flamin' hot cheetos are spicy twice.

It's not your poop. It's the long term pegging.