I think he's implying you'll work at McDonalds instead of BK? Maybe?

Cheesecake Factory. Let's not undersell.

As long as I get an MB member discount on cheesecake.

Goes without saying.

If you ask nicely, perhaps he'll even throw in the pubes for free.

As long as they're gluten free.

I'd put my money on there being a lot of gluttons at The Cheesecake Factory.

TFW you masturbate when you're drunk enough to be really horny but not so drunk that it becomes an exercise in futility.

TFW you're riding your bike home after a ****ty day at work, and a bird craps on your shoe.

TFW you're smoking a cigarette in the backyard, and a bird craps on your shoulder. HOW?! I haven't been crapped on by a bird since I was, like, six or something, and now twice in less than a week? **** this ****.

:laughing:

● Bird poop brings good luck! There is a belief that if a bird poops on you, your car or your property, you may receive good luck and riches. The more birds involved, the richer you’ll be! So next time a bird poops on you, remember that it’s a good thing.

Superstitions | teatime magazine

I like to imagine you as Ricky from Trailer Park Boys in this scenario.

TFW it's hot at work and your balls are so sweaty that they feel like they've been dipped in butter.

You don't keep your butter in the fridge?

I definitely spent an inordinate amount of time standing in the walk-in freezer, pretending to be doing something useful.

When I worked at McDonalds I would sneak into the freezer and eat frozen chocolate chip cookies at least twice a day.

Hell yeah. But after a while it gets old and you start tempting fate by making sausage and cheese biscuits with barbecue sauce right under the boss' nose, just to feel something.

Ahh, it was Jr. Chickens with Thai Sauce for me, but I've definitely been there. Fortunately for me it was the sloppiest fast-food restaurant on planet Earth and 4/5 managers/assistant managers didn't even care.

Same here, except the ones that do care don't care enough to actually do their job, so I get to do whatever the hell I want while my slacker manager sits in the office talking on the phone to who-the-****-cares.

tfw you get a PM asking how to have a sig, you help the new member and it's just spam.

smh :(

Tfw you get a 12.99 six pack for 8.99 because the tags were in the wrong place

TFW when you look down and spot a four-leaf clover on your property, and moments later you spot what appears to be an entire patch of wild comfrey! Coincidence?

Yes.

TFW you keep logging in hoping The Bat has changed his avatar, only to throw up because he hasn't.

TFW **** Chula.

TFW you snatch a baby duckling out of a dog's mouth, nurse the injured duckling back to health, set him free a week later, then can't even distinguish him from his brothers and sisters because he isn't even limping anymore. :love:

You should see my mother. She's nursed not one, but two baby squirrels back to health. I'm assuming you're both insane.

I find that animals respond best to the slightly insane.

TFW your arms are sore from playing piano and drums all day. This is the first time that's happened.

Perhaps the rest of your body is aging at the rate of your hairline.

It's not receding naturally, I'm trying to start a trend of the reverse man bun.

Male pattern baldness, then, I presume?

TFW

http://www.humoar.com/wp-content/upl...-the-water.jpg

Tfw you troll your friend and make them think they killed a turtle.

You wanna be left alone and people don't. Its enough to make a small shy Buddhist monk reflect and plan a mass murder.

Tfw you use pegging as a metaphor in a presentation for a class you don't give a **** about.

Lol. Explain yourself.

On the subject of marketing experimental music, which is basically just a way to talk about my own music.

"It’s good to find out which audiences you cross over to so that you can widen the niche of the experimental community that you fill. It’s important to get the word out about your music--you don’t want people who would like your music to never have heard of it. It’s almost like pegging, where a lot of people go for their whole lives not even knowing about it or thinking that they’re not into it, but then it’s sprung out on them (or into them) by surprise and they find themselves liking it a lot more than they expected. One crossover with my audience was with a punk audience, so I would go to a lot of punk shows and tell people about my music. I decided it would be better to perform at a couple of punk shows with my style of music because just informing people about experimental music is like handing out pamphlets about pegging and seeing if people will try it at home. Doing a concert is like going out and personally pegging everyone in the audience, and a lot of people would be more open to it if they just knew what it was like. It's my duty to show them what it's like as a performer."

It's a work in progress, I'll either be presenting tomorrow or Friday so I'll have at least today to polish it up.