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Mindfulness 01-22-2021 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday (Post 2158116)
The fact that you don't try to pick up women doesn't have to be a sign that you're gay. The chasing after women is just part of traditional culture which some men are only part of because they feel like it's expected of them: maybe it's not your style, or maybe you're too shy. Or some people are asexual and don't have a sexual interest in either men or women.
In any case, you could be gay for all I know of course, but the only real indicator is who you're sexually attracted to or fall in love with. That can be a difficult question to answer though.

I never wanted to date a man, but I just am now 32 years old and haven't had a relationship since 2009. I often wonder if that's because I don't know I am gay. If a dude showed me attention, I'd probably be friendly but never want to **** him though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158125)
Don't listen to her, mindy. You're gay.

:love:

Marie Monday 01-22-2021 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindfulness (Post 2158130)
I never wanted to date a man, but I just am now 32 years old and haven't had a relationship since 2009. I often wonder if that's because I don't know I am gay. If a dude showed me attention, I'd probably be friendly but never want to **** him though.

you mean you wonder if you aren't looking for a girlfriend because you subconsciously know you're gay?

Mindfulness 01-22-2021 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday (Post 2158136)
you mean you wonder if you aren't looking for a girlfriend because you subconsciously know you're gay?

Yes, shouldn't I have any want or urge to go find some women to have sex with? Don't most men want to have sex? I don't even try, I have Facebook dating app but don't even try that much. I don't have ANY urge to try dating apps. I feel like a relationship will start once some women randomly finds me, I don't go find them.

I guess I am wondering if men who don't even try to chase women, are subconsciously gay like you mentioned.

Marie Monday 01-22-2021 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindfulness (Post 2158140)
Yes, shouldn't I have any want or urge to go find some women to have sex with? Don't most men want to have sex? I don't even try, I have Facebook dating app but don't even try that much. I don't have ANY urge to try dating apps. I feel like a relationship will start once some women randomly finds me, I don't go find them.

I guess I am wondering if men who don't even try to chase women, are subconsciously gay like you mentioned.

They're not (at least not necessarily) and that's exactly what I meant: there is this idea that men are supposed to chase after women and sex. It's an expectation that society has, but that absolutely doesn't mean all men are like that, or that they have to be. Some men just like to find a girlfriend in a different way, or they don't have a strong sex drive (or like I said, maybe they're even asexual). It's just that the idea that men have to behave a certain way is so strong that some people don't understand when some people are different, and so they think 'oh they must be gay then' (because that's the only conventional explanation) but it's not that simple.

Mindfulness 01-22-2021 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday (Post 2158146)
They're not (at least not necessarily) and that's exactly what I meant: there is this idea that men are supposed to chase after women and sex. It's an expectation that society has, but that absolutely doesn't mean all men are like that, or that they have to be. Some men just like to find a girlfriend in a different way, or they don't have a strong sex drive (or like I said, maybe they're even asexual). It's just that the idea that men have to behave a certain way is so strong that some people don't understand when some people are different, and so they think 'oh they must be gay then' (because that's the only conventional explanation) but it's not that simple.

https://boxden.com/smilies/olFIL9r.png

Psy-Fi 01-26-2021 05:30 PM

Gay MAGA influencer Brandon Straka arrested in connection with Capitol assault

Tristan_Geoff 01-26-2021 08:03 PM

I know I go back and forth w/ labels and that's a big mental illness thang for sure but nowadays I'm going by they/he pronouns and consider myself like... attracted to anyone who isn't a cis man with some exceptions of course.

The Batlord 01-26-2021 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristan_Geoff (Post 2158807)
attracted to anyone who isn't a cis man with some exceptions of course.

Attack helicopters?

jwb 01-27-2021 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday (Post 2158146)
They're not (at least not necessarily) and that's exactly what I meant: there is this idea that men are supposed to chase after women and sex. It's an expectation that society has, but that absolutely doesn't mean all men are like that, or that they have to be. Some men just like to find a girlfriend in a different way, or they don't have a strong sex drive (or like I said, maybe they're even asexual). It's just that the idea that men have to behave a certain way is so strong that some people don't understand when some people are different, and so they think 'oh they must be gay then' (because that's the only conventional explanation) but it's not that simple.

with all due respect...
it's not about you have to chase women to be straight

but if you have no impulse or drive to even attempt to be with a woman... maybe you're not that into women

that's not such a crazy leap

could be bi or asexual or gay

but in any case apparently not that into women.

and to be perfectly honest.... as a woman... you probably have no real conception of how demanding having a dick is. if you don't feel the inherent drive to find some bitch to stick it in then you are at least part gay to me.

imho

Marie Monday 01-27-2021 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elphenor (Post 2158804)
I dream of a world where we're all lesbians tbh

Me too, Elph. Me too.
Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158821)
with all due respect...
it's not about you have to chase women to be straight

but if you have no impulse or drive to even attempt to be with a woman... maybe you're not that into women

that's not such a crazy leap

could be bi or asexual or gay

but in any case apparently not that into women.

and to be perfectly honest.... as a woman... you probably have no real conception of how demanding having a dick is. if you don't feel the inherent drive to find some bitch to stick it in then you are at least part gay to me.

imho

I think he was talking about chasing women. Maybe he has the impulse but doesn't act on it. That's my point, that behaviour of acting on your sexual drive is so deeply ingrained that that possibility is usually not even considered. I guess you're right about phallic demands, but even that has exceptions.

jwb 01-27-2021 02:15 AM

I think acting on your sexual drive in some form or another is the default

Say you felt homosexual urges but never acted on them? What would your diagnosis be? Probably they are repressing their gay tendencies due to social stigma, no?

So yeah. If you don't "chase" women at all it's a good possibility you just aren't that into women, or else you have some sorta hang up that is stunting your sexual development.

Marie Monday 01-27-2021 02:32 AM

That last thing you said about hang ups is important. I basically agree, but I think we're not meaning the same thing by chasing: I think Mindfullness was talking about the assertive way many men adopt, but for some people (if they're shy, withdrawn, or whatever) chasing is hardly the right word for their sexual initiatives

jwb 01-27-2021 02:58 AM

...
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindfulness (Post 2158140)
Yes, shouldn't I have any want or urge to go find some women to have sex with? Don't most men want to have sex? I don't even try, I have Facebook dating app but don't even try that much. I don't have ANY urge to try dating apps. I feel like a relationship will start once some women randomly finds me, I don't go find them.

I guess I am wondering if men who don't even try to chase women, are subconsciously gay like you mentioned.

By assertive you mean putting forth any effort whatsoever???

Psy-Fi 01-27-2021 07:06 AM

Lawmakers in 14 states have proposed anti-LGBTQ bills, many of which target trans youth

jwb 01-27-2021 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elphenor (Post 2158864)
nah some guys aren't comfortable in that role and are better suited towards being chased themselves

better suited... He said it's been since 2009

Sorry but women just ain't as prone to do the chasing in most cases

Frownland 01-27-2021 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158875)
women just ain't as prone to do the chasing in most cases

I could see why you would think that yukyukyukyukyuk

jwb 01-27-2021 09:58 AM

Yeah yeah predictable response but you know I'm right.

Even if you have it going on and women will approach you often then you probably aren't the kind of guy who has problems approaching women in the first place. Its a catch 22.

Frownland 01-27-2021 10:04 AM

Whatever you gotta tell yourself bro

YorkeDaddy 01-27-2021 10:12 AM

Have we ever seen any evidence of a single IRL female being remotely interested in Frownland?

Genuinely curious. I wouldn't be shocked if he's a virgin

YorkeDaddy 01-27-2021 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elphenor (Post 2158887)
frownland ****s I gurantee it

Cutting a hole in a spaghetti squash and going to town does not count

Frownland 01-27-2021 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy (Post 2158886)
Have we ever seen any evidence of a single IRL female being remotely interested in Frownland?

Genuinely curious. I wouldn't be shocked if he's a virgin

Ask your mom :cool:

YorkeDaddy 01-27-2021 10:35 AM

https://media.tenor.com/images/7102e...0dc8/tenor.gif

jwb 01-27-2021 10:56 AM

Social stigma + they don't need to because men will approach them

Getting dick takes literally 0 effort.

The Batlord 01-27-2021 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158899)
Social stigma + they don't need to because men will approach them

Getting dick takes literally 0 effort.

Bro send me a dick pic.

jwb 01-27-2021 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 2158900)
Bro send me a dick pic.

what's in it for me?

Mindfulness 01-27-2021 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158832)
...

By assertive you mean putting forth any effort whatsoever???

Yeah bro, I don't try. Maybe I haven't been interested. I see women on the gram and tiktok and feel "attracted" to them but nothing that leads to me shooting my shot with them. I have plans to try harder though.

jwb 01-27-2021 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elphenor (Post 2158902)
not always the dick they want

yeah but when it's normal for men to approach women that means they have less incentive to approach men because they always have more options

Not saying it doesn't happen... But sitting back and waiting for it to happen isn't always going to work. As we see in mindy's case here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindfulness (Post 2158903)
Yeah bro, I don't try. Maybe I haven't been interested. I see women on the gram and tiktok and feel "attracted" to them but nothing that leads to me shooting my shot with them. I have plans to try harder though.

do you not try cause of fear of rejection? Or cause of social anxiety? Or cause you just don't want it that much?

Marie Monday 01-27-2021 11:25 AM

@mindfullness If you're attracted to them that sounds like you're not gay, bi at most. So the reason you don't pursue women is that something is inhibiting you, not that you don't want to? (I mean, if you're not interested in chasing women you shouldn't feel obliged to do it because that's what people expect)

@jwb of course if you don't pursue women generally nothing happens, I speak from experience. But I think maybe you underestime how different some men are from what you expect

Mindfulness 01-27-2021 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158906)
do you not try cause of fear of rejection?

yes

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158906)
Or cause of social anxiety?

yes

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158906)

Or cause you just don't want it that much?

also, yes.



:o:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie Monday (Post 2158908)
@mindfullness If you're attracted to them that sounds like you're not gay, bi at most. So the reason you don't pursue women is that something is inhibiting you, not that you don't want to? (I mean, if you're not interested in chasing women you shouldn't feel obliged to do it because that's what people expect)

I am pretty sure I am not gay but the questions jwb asked, those are all yes.


I may be bi, haven't ruled it out.

jwb 01-27-2021 11:33 AM

Try it out, the waters fine

The Batlord 01-27-2021 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158901)
what's in it for me?

Starting to feel like effort. Just gonna masturbate instead.

jwb 01-27-2021 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 2158936)
Starting to feel like effort. Just gonna masturbate instead.

You're in the queer thread trying to tell me how hard it is to get dick. You're out of your jurisdiction and out of your element. If you want I'll take you to a gay bar and show you exactly how easy it is.

The Batlord 01-27-2021 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2158978)
You're in the queer thread trying to tell me how hard it is to get dick. You're out of your jurisdiction and out of your element. If you want I'll take you to a gay bar and show you exactly how easy it is.

So what you're saying is... "I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR GAY BAR!!!"

jwb 01-27-2021 09:16 PM

Why would I repeat gay bar? 3/10.

The Batlord 01-27-2021 10:14 PM


jwb 01-27-2021 10:40 PM

alright, lol. didn't get the reference. should've linked the video in your post instead of assuming i had seen it.

Marie Monday 01-28-2021 02:15 AM

Nah its on you for not having seen that classic

The Batlord 01-28-2021 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2159053)
alright, lol. didn't get the reference. should've linked the video in your post instead of assuming i had seen it.

I should have explained my own joke? Sorry, gotta go. I got five prog rock journals to update by noon.

adidasss 01-29-2021 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindfulness (Post 2158911)
yes



yes



also, yes.



:o:



I am pretty sure I am not gay but the questions jwb asked, those are all yes.


I may be bi, haven't ruled it out.

You're probably on some asexual spectrum, is all.

The Batlord 01-29-2021 05:59 AM

Or he's just socially awkward and avoids interaction.


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