|08-09-2007, 12:20 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Suva, Fiji
No title yet, check it.
Hey, not quite done yet, but y'know the drill. Havn't got a title yet either.
The years have passed,
Our memories un-forgotten.
Of fateful summer days of childhood,
Put upon us.
And the bark falls, eventually.
Initials and messages,
Come to an end.
Oh, so precious…
The hearts carved deeply,
Into the souls of the trees,
Pointed out useless relations,
That were never meant to be.
We showed our emotions,
I recall the word love, once or twice,
It’s not over ‘til the fat lady sings I say,
And she’d been singin’ the whole time.
I never thought we’d survive,
No not for better days
And our love echoed through the winds,
But in the delicate twirl of the breeze,
It was bound to get caught along the way.
And in the rustle of the leaves,
Our love will stay.
Last edited by Blain; 08-09-2007 at 11:27 PM.
|08-09-2007, 05:13 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2004
I'll crit this later, the line "Love lost yet not forgotten" needs to go, way way way way too cliche and been used frequently before.