Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-09-2009, 06:53 PM   #61 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 160
Default

i dont care in its "tenterhooks" or "tender hooks," but that phrase makes you feel unconformable just by reading it. in the good way, when you can feel what the poet says. good job
darkcornerinthecloset is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2009, 11:02 AM   #62 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: england
Posts: 388
Default poetry

new thoughts springing into my mind
enjoying the read with all this free time
single events that have moulded me
reading is a spiritual sea

as far as it is wide, a great ocean span
delivering me a whole vocabulary,
helping me to deliver a peice everyday
as many an idea, as the legs on a centipede.
help is here in every direction
where ever your abode where ever your location
skies the limit meaning no limit at all,
so when you think its the end theres always another door.

walk on through it, expand your thinking and mind
for the sun never sets, only those who are eternally blind.
chard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2009, 12:17 PM   #63 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: england
Posts: 388
Wink il be her tail

where ever you may be
il have a clue and il find you
dont you see
there no escaping from me.
dont be afraid im not here to hurt you
im not going to tell you i love you, then desert you
why oh why cant you believe
that im a good guy here not to decieve
youve known me for such a long time
have you ever seen me being unkind.


if theres nothing i can say or do
to change your mind or point of view
il regret it but i will forget it a relationship with you
i want to give you everything youve been denied
hand in hand walking along side
you told me thats what you wanted, us together forever
now it seems i might be with you never
im not getting mad your loss not mine
lose my number play another fool next time

women god i love em
but i always see the wrong uns
shel be phoning me tomorrow
asking me where im at
telling me she loves me and can i come over to her flat
shes forgetful, but she wont be denied
for i am carrying a flame for her inside.
well life is funny you cant take anything serious
if you do your just winde up delerious
so love em for who they are
riding on the tail of a shooting star
chard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2009, 04:52 PM   #64 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 160
Default

gotta love the last stanza!
darkcornerinthecloset is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2009, 02:58 PM   #65 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: england
Posts: 388
Default crisis

recent avents that mar my mind
having deliverance time after time
hounded for money i have not
what can they take
what i have not got.

phone never stops
ringing in my ears
cancel my depts
out of arrears
climbing the walls
living in fear
breaking down
shedding tears.

hear them breaking down my door
last thing i remember
is hitting the floor
suppose i deserved it
should have paid it
not everyone can claim bankruptey
bit of a shame really
close my door in future
for unpaid wealth
watch my blacknwhite tv
keep good health
keep the bank notes rolling
for worthy causes
instead of my selfish intellectual pauses.
remember this number
for im sure your need it some day
it might save you from fading away
as i lie dying here
no cause for alarm
pay your way
or feel extreme harm
death comes swiftly
for you who never listen
with age comes wisdom lol.
chard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2009, 06:56 PM   #66 (permalink)
Partying on the inside
 
Freebase Dali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,329
Default

I really don't want to be critical, but this isn't good on any level I can think of.

I want to believe in what you're saying, but your concept jumps around faster than I can contemplate a meaning for. It's almost as if you just found a bunch of words you like and put them together.

There needs to be a point. An ultimate realization. A reason.
A story.
Something.
Freebase Dali is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2009, 07:02 PM   #67 (permalink)
Partying on the inside
 
Freebase Dali's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 5,329
Default

Ok let's look at navigating the English language as a first priority:

"What I have not got" should be changed to "What I have not".
"depts" = "debt"
I have no idea what "arrears" means....
"Bankruptey" sounds like it would be a cool cartoon to release the stresses of an accountant while at work.

And the "lol" probably shouldn't seem like part of the story.

Somehow, it does.
Freebase Dali is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2009, 03:58 AM   #68 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: england
Posts: 388
Default

my work means something different to each and every reader
its not just a poem its life.when you read a poem it should have responses and i thankyou for yours.I know grammer lol.
happy days oh happy days!

Last edited by chard; 04-08-2009 at 11:00 AM.
chard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2009, 04:51 AM   #69 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: england
Posts: 388
Default yesterdays love

Time moves swiftly by,
yesterdays goodbye,
tears in my eyes,
when i think of all them lies,
though im not one to criticise.

For tomorrow will soon be here
and il be well in the clear
every deed is not blacknwhite
i was suffering daynnight.
She pushed me to far
thats why shes dead
her corpse in the car
including her head.

Cant stop laughing im so happy now
now im rid of that nasty cow
theres no way they can pin it on me
flying out ,paid my fees.

happy days oh happy days
the sun is shining
its heavenly rays
and its all for me
you gotta believe
its written,its my destiny.

fiction not fact
years now since that grizzly act
i still have orgasms thinking of that night
i walked out, into the light.
Ive been blessed thats for sure,
no worries i am cured,
shes better off out of this world.
chard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2009, 08:47 AM   #70 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1
Default

When I was young
I'd listened to the radio
Waitin' for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile

Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well



(*) Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-wo-wo
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they're starting to sing
So fine

When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more

Lookin' back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed

It was songs of love that
I would sing to theN
And I'd memorize each word
Those old melodies
Still sound so good to me
As they melt the years away


Repeat (*)


All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more
__________________
Photography
thuydung88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads



2003-2019 Advameg, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.5.2 ©2010, Crawlability, Inc.