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Old 03-12-2009, 09:10 AM   #71 (permalink)
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Smile Yesterdays love; as follows,

Chard, Your best effort yet! Much Improved I think, don't stop.


Thuydung88, isn't that a song?
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Old 03-12-2009, 09:51 AM   #72 (permalink)
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Default Vertical Friction; as follows,

I think we have a better offering from char in yesterday's love, read it yet?
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Old 03-12-2009, 04:19 PM   #73 (permalink)
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sort of insane, but i agree, its much better
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Old 03-12-2009, 04:36 PM   #74 (permalink)
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Um....
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Old 03-14-2009, 03:40 AM   #75 (permalink)
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Default drugs aint good

A man has blood in his eyes
its not hidden theres no disguise
hes hell bent on revenge
unafraid he wont be denied.
When day breaks his wounds are still visible
for this man he never sleeps
the ones who betrayed him
will surely die for a wasted life.

sanity hanging in the balance
in the dark corners of his mind
will his misery end,when he fufills his dream
when his betrayal has been rectified.
will he stop, will his rage subside,
or will he grow hungrier
from the thrill of the ride.

putting a wedge between you and reality,
how far and how fast
are you likely to run from me.
youve got to come out of hiding sometime,
and when you do your be mine.

Last edited by chard; 03-15-2009 at 03:20 AM. Reason: n\a
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Old 03-14-2009, 11:09 AM   #76 (permalink)
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I really like it, it is strongly written.

BUT

If the grammar and punctuation were added, it would be more defined.

And when you actually mention the substance abuse, it kind of takes way the mystery. As does the name of the piece.
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Old 03-14-2009, 01:30 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Chard:

If you continue to post in this forum only then your posts are effectively spam and will be dealt with as per MB rules.
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Old 03-14-2009, 03:18 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jackhammer View Post
Chard:

If you continue to post in this forum only then your posts are effectively spam and will be dealt with as per MB rules.
Dont worry, he also posted in my blog to tell me that I was basically wrong to not believe in god.
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Old 03-14-2009, 03:52 PM   #79 (permalink)
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aint is not a word

susbtance abuse is generally a self prescribed solution to a much greater issue. to blame it solely for the downfall of an individual is shortsighted and wrong. anyone who's been through the situation will likely see your song as pretty shallow.
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Old 03-14-2009, 07:36 PM   #80 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr dave View Post
aint is not a word

susbtance abuse is generally a self prescribed solution to a much greater issue. to blame it solely for the downfall of an individual is shortsighted and wrong. anyone who's been through the situation will likely see your song as pretty shallow.
He's completely right just so you know.
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