MicShazam

Shouldn't everyone ELSE be vomiting? Anyway, this version is funnier.

Lisnaholic

^ Hey, I remember those exact words! At age 11 my best friend loved to ask,
"Supposin' supposin' three men were frozen. What would you do?" The only correct answer being, "Nothing. It's only supposin'" He certainly got some mileage out of this joke; telling it so often that it went from being funny to boring, then back to being funnier than ever, just because everybody knew exactly what was coming.

From the same era:-

A lady sits down on a bus, then notices that the man next to her has a lot of jelly and cake in his ear. Not sure what to do, she waits for a second and then says, "Excuse me, but did you know that your ear is full of bits of cake and jelly?" to which the man replies, " I'm sorry, you'll have to speak up. I'm a trifle deaf."

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Trollheart

Then there's this one.
Three men (for reasons nobody outside Europe will understand, they're always an Englishman, a Scotchman (Scottish) and an Irishman. Whoever wins or gets the best lines depends, obviously, on what nationality is telling the joke. Anyway...) are caught by a cannibal tribe. They take the Englishman. Chief looks, says "Good skin! Make fine canoe!" They take him away, protesting (but not too loudly or making a scene, he IS after all English!) and next up is the Scotchman. Chief looks, nods. "Good skin! Make fine canoe!" and off he goes, offering to fight everyone with one hand tied behind his back.

Irishman is brought forward, but before anyone can move he grabs a knife from one of the cannibals, stabs himself several times. As he passes out, he grins "You're not making a fucking canoe out of me!"

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Frownland

Wow dad, that was pretty dark for my four year old little mind.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

Lisnaholic

Yes, so many jokes about an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman, routinely going into a bar together, which at least sends a positive message of mutual toleration before the serious business of national stereo-typing gets going....

And how about the "Knock Knock" jokes? This is about the only one I remember:-

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Sam and Janet"
"Sam and Janet who?"
*sings* "Sam an' Janet Evenin' you may see a stranger, you may see a stranger 'cross a crowded room."

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"Am I enjoying this moment? I know of it and perhaps that is enough." - Sybille Bedford, 1953

The Batlord

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Trollheart

They don't call him the Dark Knight for nothing.

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Trollheart

Isn't it way past your bedtime?

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rostasi

What do you call an Amish man with his hand up a horse's ass?

A mechanic.

Cuthbert

Used to hear loads of these in school.

There's an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working construction on a skyscraper together.

Every day at lunch they eat their sandwiches, one day the Englishman opens his lunch box and it's a salmon paste sandwich. 'If my wife makes me salmon paste sandwiches again tomorrow I'm jumping off this building'.

The Scotsman opens his lunchbox and he has salmon paste sandwiches as well, he says 'if my wife makes me salmon paste sandwiches again tomorrow, I'm jumping off too'.

The Irishman opens his lunchbox and he has salmon paste sandwiches. 'If my wife makes me salmon paste sandwiches tomorrow, I'm jumping off this building too'.

Next day, they stop for lunch and they all have the same sandwiches again. All of them jump off the building and kill themselves.

The police are called and go round to their wives. The Englishman's wife goes 'I didn't know he didn't like salmon paste sandwiches'. The Scotsman's wife also says 'I didn't know he didn't like salmon paste sandwiches'. The Irishman's wife goes 'I didn't make his sandwiches'.