Dad Jokes

Trollheart · 04-03-2014, 10:54 AM

Why did the chicken NOT cross the road?

Spoiler for Answer:

The Batlord · 04-03-2014, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Why did the chicken NOT cross the road?

Spoiler for Answer:

I've been stone faced for the majority of this thread. So why the **** did this make me chuckle?

**Frownland** · 04-08-2014, 07:59 PM

I used to not like my hair, but then it grew on me.

Astronomer · 04-08-2014, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

I used to not like my hair, but then it grew on me.

One liners are my favourite dad jokes

Keep 'em coming.

Moss · 04-08-2014, 10:50 PM

A prostitute is recently diagnosed with heart trouble but decides to go to "work" anyway.

She is approached by a potential customer and tells him, "It's gonna be 50 dollars, but I have to tell you, I have acute angina."

He replies, "Well I hope so, because your face is kind of ugly."

Trollheart · 04-09-2014, 05:10 AM

Oh god! Time for some doctor jokes!
Man goes to the doctor, says "Doctor I feel like a jelly baby!"
And the doctor ate the head off him....

(Copyright my sister about 1997 or so)

RoxyRollah · 04-09-2014, 05:58 AM

[QUOTE=Trollheart;1432847]
Tell me something, seriously: would you know how to make a call on one of these?

Clue: it does not connect to the internet and has no USB slot.

I am answering you seriously. Yes I would use this, yes I know how to use it, but I won't reconsider using this, until I have a sterling silver telephone dialer.

ladyislingering · 04-09-2014, 12:41 PM

[QUOTE=RoxyRollah;1437337]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Tell me something, seriously: would you know how to make a call on one of these?

If there are people out there over the age of 18 that don't know what this thing is, or how to use it, that makes me very sad. If I had any reason whatsoever to have a landline in this apartment, you bet your ass I'd hook it up to a rotary telephone. I love those things.

How could you not want one??

LOOK HOW CUTE THIS ONE IS

RoxyRollah · 04-09-2014, 01:47 PM

[QUOTE=ladyislingering;1437424]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoxyRollah

If there are people out there over the age of 18 that don't know what this thing is, or how to use it, that makes me very sad. If I had any reason whatsoever to have a landline in this apartment, you bet your ass I'd hook it up to a rotary telephone. I love those things.

How could you not want one??

LOOK HOW CUTE THIS ONE IS

Right so where is our sterling silver dialer to go with this pink prize?

~~Sansa Stark~~ · 04-09-2014, 01:48 PM

Best dad joke:

"Dad, are those buffalo straight?"
"They're bison"
"Well, its a free country"

04-03-2014, 10:54 AM	#71 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	Why did the chicken NOT cross the road? Spoiler for Answer: Because it was his day off! __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

04-08-2014, 07:59 PM	#73 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,548	I used to not like my hair, but then it grew on me. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

04-09-2014, 05:10 AM	#76 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	Oh god! Time for some doctor jokes! Man goes to the doctor, says "Doctor I feel like a jelly baby!" And the doctor ate the head off him.... (Copyright my sister about 1997 or so) __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

04-08-2014, 10:50 PM	#75 (permalink)
Moss Scuttle Buttin' Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Boulder Colorado Posts: 972	A prostitute is recently diagnosed with heart trouble but decides to go to "work" anyway. She is approached by a potential customer and tells him, "It's gonna be 50 dollars, but I have to tell you, I have acute angina." He replies, "Well I hope so, because your face is kind of ugly."

04-09-2014, 01:48 PM	#80 (permalink)
~~Sansa Stark~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: The Eyrie, Vale of Arryn, Westeros Posts: 3,234	Best dad joke: "Dad, are those buffalo straight?" "They're bison" "Well, its a free country"