wolverinewolfweiselpigeon's Songwriting Journal

Wifey Boozer · 11-16-2008, 06:33 PM

Blank verse, ftw. Love it wolfy. Wouldn't change a thing. The rhyming scheme was impressive.

WWWP · 11-16-2008, 07:38 PM

Thanks everyone, for the feedback.

Surell · 11-16-2008, 10:14 PM

I digs it. Good rhythm and vocabulary and subject(s).

Applenux · 11-17-2008, 02:59 AM

It's nice to me ! Congratulation !

jackhammer · 11-17-2008, 07:01 PM

I am only sorry that the original post got lost in childish behaviour. Sorry.

kaleidoscope.. · 11-20-2008, 06:58 PM

Hey..I like it!! good job..Id like to hear the song..
Whats the message of the song though?as people have said they felt depressed..
What did you want people to think/feel when they heard the song?hmmmm

kaleidoscope.. · 11-20-2008, 07:10 PM

if you feel like you have heard it before thats probably a good thing...that means it kinda flows and is natural..good job on your song! i love the idea..but is it a whole song?

WWWP · 11-20-2008, 07:16 PM

Well I wrote it while I was devestated about Prop 8 passing. Basically I was having an "I give up on society" day and this is the result. It was really more about me venting than portaying an emotion.

Arya Stark · 11-20-2008, 08:13 PM

That's true.

But I mean i feel like I've heard the general idea before.

The idea of people looking tought but not actually BEING tough.

I just re-read it and it is very good.

I don't know.

I suppose I could just be picky.

It's difficult to reword cliche to a point that it seems new.

Does that make sense?

kthedrummer · 11-20-2008, 09:17 PM

I like it forget about jumping tenses when it flows it flows....don't edit...from mind to pen is natural writing...a true art...I can tell u didn't try too hard it is natural and that makes it great.

11-16-2008, 06:33 PM	#31 (permalink)
Wifey Boozer Meanie McFeany Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Troy side'ah the dirt, NY Posts: 455	Blank verse, ftw. Love it wolfy. Wouldn't change a thing. The rhyming scheme was impressive. __________________ ... Stalin had a *FANTASTIC* moustache. Formerly known as the Prime Minister of Spain. [backintheubbr]

11-17-2008, 02:59 AM	#34 (permalink)
Applenux Groupie Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 18	It's nice to me ! Congratulation ! __________________ Ceci n'est pas une signature. Ou pas. Au fait je m'en balance les couilles : personne va comprendre !

11-17-2008, 07:01 PM	#35 (permalink)
jackhammer Ba and Be. Join Date: May 2007 Location: This Is England Posts: 17,331	I am only sorry that the original post got lost in childish behaviour. Sorry. __________________ It be my music and film collection. “A cynic by experience, a romantic by inclination and now a hero by necessity.”

11-20-2008, 09:17 PM	#40 (permalink)
kthedrummer King of the Idiots Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: The free love freeway Posts: 262	I like it forget about jumping tenses when it flows it flows....don't edit...from mind to pen is natural writing...a true art...I can tell u didn't try too hard it is natural and that makes it great. __________________ Your brain has the shell on it.

11-20-2008, 06:58 PM	#36 (permalink)
kaleidoscope.. Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 44	Hey..I like it!! good job..Id like to hear the song.. Whats the message of the song though?as people have said they felt depressed.. What did you want people to think/feel when they heard the song?hmmmm

11-20-2008, 07:10 PM	#37 (permalink)
kaleidoscope.. Groupie Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 44	if you feel like you have heard it before thats probably a good thing...that means it kinda flows and is natural..good job on your song! i love the idea..but is it a whole song?

11-20-2008, 08:13 PM	#39 (permalink)
Arya Stark "Hermione-Lite" Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New York. Posts: 3,084	That's true. But I mean i feel like I've heard the general idea before. The idea of people looking tought but not actually BEING tough. I just re-read it and it is very good. I don't know. I suppose I could just be picky. It's difficult to reword cliche to a point that it seems new. Does that make sense?