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Old 06-12-2009, 02:26 PM   #71 (permalink)
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I'm bumping this.
this next song i wrote very randomly for you all


You and me are
so perfectly aligned
with everything
cause we sing
in harmony


that's just one verse but i'm hoping to build it more (genre: Alt. Pop)
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Old 06-19-2009, 11:26 AM   #72 (permalink)
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Default Ruhe

There's a moon in the sky
and i feel alive

cause i survived
i survived

Comets come crashin
smashin evry'thing around me.

i am a soldier
in a war
i am a child
slammed to the floor
i am a hero
but not to the core

could we fight
a battle in the sky
or in another sky
made up of broken stars

i am a soldier
in a war
i am a child
slammed to the floor
i am a hero
but not to the core

The sun slowly flys away
leaving us in the dark
you found me
choking on jupiter's dust

a metaphorical object
a rhetorical question
from your friend

i am a soldier
in a war
i am a child
slammed to the floor
i am a hero
but not to the core

atlest not anymore
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Old 06-19-2009, 11:10 PM   #73 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stone Birds View Post
There’s a river by my bed
There’s a sun over my head

The shining light
Used to be
Something to make me happy

But now, I’m walking on this road,
Though many have walked it before
I’m not sure if I’m gonna make it
I don’t know if I’m gonna make it

Sleep with petals in the cradle
And watch the sun go down

The grey road is long and heartless
The grey road I have to walk on

I know
That you know
Than we don’t know
I know
That you know
Than we don’t know

Sleep with petals in the cradle
And watch the sun go down

Sleep with petals in the cradle
And watch the sun
And watch the sun
And watch the sun
go down

Everyone who walked this road
Before me
Found a splotch of color
And a light that was pretty, so pretty

Sleep with petals in the cradle
And watch the sun go down

Main Chord = 35**xx
(* is randomly included)
Hi, Stone Birds,
I like the strong visual images of nature that you include in this song, which I interpret as describing the road of life we all take and the difficulties/sadness faced while traveling it. For example, you start with a startling yet appealing image: "There's a river by my bed." This beautiful impossibility...unless you happen to be in a tent outside! ...catches my attention right at the beginning of the song. Then, you explain that you have lost this joy and appreciation you once had in living. The loss of this joy seems much more real since you first describe what the joy feels like (using the river/sun). If you had simply described the loss of joy first (without describing the beauty of what was lost), then the loss would seem less painful.

I also am touched by the image you create when you write, "Sleep with petals in the cradle." I feel this line succinctly shows the tenderness we have toward our children, or the children we once were, and, when combined with the following line, "And watch the sun go down," describes how quickly life passes (in my interpretation). Life is so fleeting that it can be summarized in two short lines:

Quote:
Sleep with petals in the cradle
And watch the sun go down
The fact that the passage of life is described in two lines physically represents life's speed (again, this is just how I am interpreting the lyrics). And, once again, both lines include a reference to nature (a repeated theme in the poem).

When you write that everyone has walked the road before you, finding a splotch of color, or aspects of life that are profoundly beautiful and meaningful, those lines acknowledge the human condition: many others have enjoyed life, finding beauty in it as much as you do or can now. This section of the song, as I see it, widens the focus of the poem outward away from the speaker toward other people, emphasizing the connection you have to them, and probably sympathy for them, because they also lived...and then died, too, as we must all.

I like the shift of focus away from self (not that self isn't important) to others (in addition to self), because I think feeling that connection to other people often helps people heal from hurts inflicted by life. For example, I find it comforting to know others have walked life's road as we do now. Since I know your songs, from what you have said, often revolve around healing, I felt that this portion of this particular song was important because I see it as part of the healing effort: by acknowledging the loss (of life or of joy) this is a way to accept/heal and continue on that hard, grey road.

The song also makes me sorry/sad that life (for the speaker of the poem...and I am assuming you are also the speaker of the poem, describing self-experiences rather than experiences of someone else) sometimes feels like a heartless and long, grey, road.

One segment of the song that is not clear to me is the following:
Quote:
I know
That you know
Than we don’t know
I know
That you know
Than we don’t know
I am wondering if the word "than" was intended to be "then," since "than" would be used in a comparison? Or is the "than" supposed to be "that," as in "I know that you know that we don't know?" Or, am I simply not understanding the meaning? I also am curious what it is that is not known.

To summarize, the many visual images you use carry me through the song from beginning to end, with the repetition of "petals in the cradle" creating a somber feeling of loss, of the ephemeral, that I feel suits the topic (as I understand it) very well. The repetition of the two lines, "Sleep with petals in the cradle and watch the sun go down" throughout the poem could be interpreted as showing that person after person after person has experienced this brief life and then death. The repetition of these two lines makes me feel as if the song encompasses the lives of many individual people within it.
--Erica
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Old 06-20-2009, 09:38 AM   #74 (permalink)
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typo, i'm i'm fixing it.
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Old 07-05-2009, 01:47 AM   #75 (permalink)
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Default Room 214 / Seven Pennies

"Room 214"

Here i am again
alone
in room two-fourteen
just waiting
so long, now, so long, forever

A simple bed
to lay may troubles down
a coffee maker
to awake me every morning.

Walk outside into the light
embrace every stranger
love every neighbor
so long, now, so long, forever

a big night, tonight
some sort of party
the music explodes...

Here i am again
alone
in room two-fourteen
just waiting
so long, now, so long, forever


if you're wondering how this is supposed to flow or make sense or whatever. think of bon iver because that's the kinda song this is.
________________________________________

"Seven Pennies"


this is currently just a chorus but it bases the song.

I got seven pennies in my pocket
And I’m having good life
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Old 07-05-2009, 07:11 PM   #76 (permalink)
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^ I really like 'Room 214' and can definitely picture it with some music with a simple sadness, Bon Iver style.
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Old 07-06-2009, 05:44 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stone Birds View Post
Download "How To Catch the Sparrow" Demo
We were all one young
runnin out into the rain when we weren't supposed to
climbin trees and scrapin knees
it was the only way to teach us pain

Mother Sky
father sea
please help me

The rain will die but tomorrow
we'll learn how to catch the sparrow

Brother flame
sister tree
please save me

I can't write this song the way
it was meant to be
i am sorry
could you forgive me

Grandpa gun
grandma flower
please find me*

we live and die, but we lie (x4)
*this line has been updated since the demo was recorded

tab:

e---------------
B---------------
G----------0----
D----0----------
A-------3-------
E-3-------------
Hi, Stone Birds,
I like the way you use the theme of family in these lyrics (mother, father, brother, sister, grandpa, grandma) to tie the song together from beginning to end. The "Grandpa gun" is chilling and more so because it is combined with the mentioning of family members, childhood experiences, and nature (sky, sea, flowers, etc.), all of which are so much a part of life. Also, the plea for help that runs throughout the lyrics and the feeling of the need for forgiveness combine to make the song sound like the description of someone wrestling with strong feelings that are welling up into thoughts of suicide ("Grandpa gun, please find me"). Am I interpreting the lyrics as you intended?
--Erica
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Old 07-07-2009, 02:39 AM   #78 (permalink)
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mostly. i'm usually not completely sure myself until someone points it out to me.
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Old 07-09-2009, 03:37 PM   #79 (permalink)
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A Nice pop/dance remix i made. i amplified the strings and beat, and put weird delays on choruses on the synth, and whole lotta other things, hope someone likes it:
"Shine 4U" (Stone Birds Remix)

if anyone wants a download of this i'll be posting the download on many different sites (including this one) on July 22nd
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Old 07-11-2009, 12:01 PM   #80 (permalink)
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Default If I Fell Into Black Water EP

Download 25MB

Artist/Band: Stone Birds
Album title: If I Fell Into Black Water EP
Genre: Folk / Neofolk / Lofi


Tracks:
1. If I Fell Into Black Water 6:32 (new version)
2. M.O.N.D.A.Y. (Instrumental) 3:19
3. Sour Candy 2:34
4. Ruhe 4:36



EP Artwork:

Insert: http://www.lulu.com/items/volume_65/...6205_cover.jpg

Traycard: http://www.lulu.com/items/volume_65/...5_traycard.jpg

Disc (Not in disc image format): http://www.lulu.com/items/volume_65/...76205_disc.jpg
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Last edited by Stone Birds; 07-11-2009 at 12:07 PM.
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