News story with the least amount of irony, ever, in the history of news stories.

Probably shouldn't be eating so much burger.

Oscar Pistorius Held For Shooting Girlfriend

That sprinter with no legs. I only know who he is cos he endorses the A*Men products by Thierry Mugler. Shot his bird dead, he thought she was a burglar. Valentine's Day of all days.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got a gun
Bang.

If people are dumb enough to do dangerous sports I see no harm in being dumb enough to eat dangerous food.

Chubby Checker, Legendary Singer, Sues Over Penis-Measuring App With Same Name

:laughing:

Probe launched into Twitter photos of 'James Bulger killer Jon Venables' - Crime - UK - The Independent

Interesting.

Can't believe how many stupid people there are on the internet risking criminal records and fines over posting pictures on Twitter as well.

Sounds like it could be a hard case to prove, I wonder if it will stand up in court? :D

I don't know. It sounds like a pretty wang and dong case. It'd be pretty penis to prove. I'm sure he'll get all the cock and balls that he's suing for.

cock, balls, scrotum, smelly bridge, sack, testicles, shlong, weapon.

Japanese news is not relevant to this thread.
No one is surprised by the crap they do anymore.

Not such an unbelievable news story, a bit confounding but more importantly it involves a video that is Creepy as Hell..

Hotel Guests Brushing Teeth with Mysterious Murder Victim Water

^ I hope I can go to sleep now.

Compulsive liar jailed for making her ELEVENTH false rape claim against an innocent man 'who she decided she didn't like anymore' | Mail Online

What a fucking disgusting cunt. Why did it take 11 false allegations before something was done?

What is the minimum prison sentence for someone found guilty of rape? She should get that x 11.

Woman gets shot by oven

I feel like this is something that happened in 1000 ways to die but she didn't kick the bucket. Oh well.

I bet she'll think twice before warming up her waffles in the oven.

Even ovens are shooting people! Good God

That girl was clearly on some drugs.

It is America after all.

Murica

Where even the ovens listen to Toby Keith.

:laughing:

I'm surprised no one has made a joke about the fact that she was in her rightful place in the kitchen!

Which reminds me, what are you doing on the computer?

Her stove is actually a computer.

No wonder the thing keeps overheating.

By the way, I'm not in my kitchen either. I'm sitting on my bed. Is that too rebellious for you?

Is there a hot plate or a mini fridge next to your bed?

:D

I'm sorry I let you down. I'll go make a sandwich now.

It's too late for that. Only a pot roast will suffice.

It seems that way to me too. I haven't checked any actual news about her in the past couple days but internet theories were flying as soon as the story broke. Many interesting scenarios were imagined. As far as I know the facts are:

She was staying at a hotel in a sketchy part of LA for unknown reasons, having travelled there by herself from Canada. Drugs are easy to get where she was but, also, she may have been easy to drug by predators in the area.

In any case she, or somebody else, got her onto a locked roof that only hotel employees should have access to, and also got her body into a vat of water that supposedly needs a ladder to reach. She had been in regular touch with her family back home throughout her journey, then nobody saw or heard from her for two weeks+ before her reappearance as a corpse in a highly unlikely place for one to end up.

No, but there's a hot man there... does that count?

Well, as long as he's got something to eat. :pimp:

I see what you did there lol

*slinks off*

Yea it's a weird one. But I'm generally going to avoid speculation until the cause of death, at least, comes back.

I can't help but envision two scenarios:
1) She took drugs on purpose or not, was either communicating with a predator in the creepy video or just reacting to the drugs, died on her own or was murdered, and then was placed in the water vat by the predator, who either works at the hotel or otherwise had keys to its roof.

or

2) demonic possession

Harlem Shake: Oz Miners Fired For Dance

This made me smile.

Like anyone even cares, these mock outrage campaigns on social networks = :o:

I'd care if I lost a 6 figure salary. :yikes: