Drinking on the beach is awesome. Especially at night when one half of the world just feels completely empty.

Nah, the crazy people are just interesting... and potentially nonfunctional. The normies are those too boring to be crazy, but at least they can deal with a mortgage. I guess.

tfw you still get your ex's mail because she used to live at your parents house and a letter from collections stating they are demanding the $1000 in overdraft fees comes through and have no way of contacting her.

You love it.

I burned it.

TFW u dunno if people are following you or stealing from you or assaulting you or others because of the things you do or say.

Tfw ypu dunno if people are changing the time on clocks before you see them so you don't know what time it actually is, and if they're doing that why they would.

Suicide or a life of complete revlusipn? Wtf is the fvcking difference

...tfw you try to send a text to your daughter, but accidentally send it to your friend that spent 15 years in prison. I wonder if he likes being called Sweetee? This is gonna be hilarious.

Might bring back some vivid memories, nomsayin...

I'm just glad he has a sense of humor.

That feeling when you finally install the new speakers you got from your mom months ago and you realize just what you were missing without surround sound on your computer. Holy **** this is just amazing.

What kind?

Tfw a non-vegan friend gives you a batch of some of the best bbq pork you've ever eaten, and now you feel sorry for all your vegan friends who will never know the beauty of the bbq pork orgy in your mouth.

I'm sure if you add in enough spices and despair you can make tofu taste just like it.

Despair - The coriander of feelings.

God damn it now I want pork bbq.

I was told that this was used:

http://www.kentuckytourism.com/!user...down&crop=auto

The actual meat is all gone, but now I'm just dipping entire buns in the juice and eating what's left of it all.

I'm ordering a gallon of that stuff. So ****ing good.

**** you guys, I never got my pizza.

What would happen if you put it on steak?

BBQ Beef

I want steak with pork BBQ on top. Is that a thing?

It is now.

*burp*

Did I just justify my existence?

Probably not.

You're just jealous you didn't invent pork bbq steak, or then innovate with bacon.

That actually sounds disgusting.

As he tries it out.

I'm of the opinion that meat always goes well with meat that isn't gross by itself. You should see my sandwiches.

No homo.

Well, yeah. duh

I'm not a big fan of bacon though, and I'd rather have just the steak with nothing on it.

I love bacon, I just don't like too much bacon if that makes sense.

1. I'm not a bacon worshipper, but it's still good to put on other stuff.

2. I don't think I know anyone who knows how to properly make steak. They can grill it and ****, but actually doing something with it...

3. Can you make a steak and mail it to me in one of those Pizza Hut oven bag things?

I have a friend that knows how to make a steak really really ****ing well. He hands down made the best steak I've ever had in my entire life. Not sure what he did with it, but it was absolutely amazing. Like, I didn't even use any sauce with it because I was just enjoying the plane steak too much.

Steak is best by itself when done right. Maybe some mushrooms and A1, but if it's cooked to perfection, then yeah leave that ****er alone.

1. meh
2. meh
3. I don't think you understand logistics very well

Everyone I know basically just grills the thing without much preparation. I don't know how important marinating or spices or whatever are, but they seem to be a thing that my uncles should learn about if past experiences are anything to go by.

I mean, if you utilize the internet you can find some damn good recipes out there.

I think my friend used some kind of garlic butter or something I don't remember, I should have taken note.

I want other people to feed me.

But have you seen those Pizza Hut bags? They're ****ing magic, dude.

The best steak I ever had was just a 1 inch thick cut right from a quarter of a cow (we had a thing called "Carnivore Fest" at my friends house, who is also a butcher). No marinade, just a generous sprinkling of salt and pepper. I seared it for 6 minutes each side on an extremely hot grill, then plated it and tented it with with tinfoil for 10 minutes.

The first bite was like when Elaine first tasted the Soup Nazi's soup for the first time and she had to sit down right there on the street because it was so intensely good.

I'm gonna have to go do research on how to make bombass steak. I don't really care about cooking that much, but if I can make steak that will force a girl to develop a voluptuous posterior then I imagine that's half my life solved right there.

I'm not interested in cooking, but I am interested in the end results of cooking.

Poppin panties with steak. Yeah.

That's too much work just to get pussy, all you need is to be confident.