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Old 04-18-2009, 10:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Stone Birds' Songwriting Journal

I need a name for this, please help.

Silk covered lands
We cross our hands
The shadowy figure
Standing before us
Yellow sun turns red

Ill fortuned folks
Forced to starve
There is a light
On the street
It asks for a chair

Treading on
Going forth
To find a crossroads
Where to go now
Where are your leaders now

Red, the ground is red
Go forth and die to live
Thorns upon thy face
Will not erase
Mellow out
Please don’t shout

Treading on
Going forth
To find a crossroads
Where to go now
Where are your leaders now
P.s. i didn't write the second verse, so if sounds stupid don't blame me.
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Old 04-18-2009, 01:34 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default John Walks

My Latest Song it has a very slow-tempo, and a bass drum. no guitar yet though. also i need to rename it so if you guys can help go ahead.
John, the hero
he walks alone

Please help me
Please save me

I will forget your name
And you will walk alone again

John walks for the poor
John walks for the rich
John walks for the young
John walks for the old
John walks not for himself

You aren't looking for fame
You haven't a dollar to your name
but still you walk for me
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Old 04-18-2009, 10:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Well, a recurring theme is colors...
So maybe go with Tinted Red
or something of the sort.
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Old 04-18-2009, 11:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
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treading on.

the ground is stained with red.

idk :/
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Old 04-19-2009, 07:01 PM   #5 (permalink)
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what youre getting at is not clear to me. . .be it war or something else. a discription of the color of the whatever-it-is might be a functional title. but something that would apply only to the subject, or at least strongly hint. i agree with maybe "tinted red"
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Old 04-20-2009, 01:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hmmm... not sure if it fits in with where you're coming from but i'm coming around to a name somewhere along the lines of 'moving still', i've always been a fan of paradoxical cryptic song names and for some reason i feel that it fits this one pretty well...not sure if i've been of any assistance but its a thought
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Old 04-21-2009, 03:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Post Universal Breaker

You got lost in the atmosphere
i fell down in a hole
mystery speaks in tounges
(Need something to rhyme with hole)

Flip the jupiter signs
forget all the bad times
fly on to neptune
cause baby i'll see ya soon

It's All i got so far i need a lot of help. the song is supposed to have a pop-blues sorta feel to it
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Old 04-21-2009, 03:29 PM   #8 (permalink)
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(Need something to rhyme with hole) -- > Soul,whole, stole?
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Old 04-21-2009, 03:50 PM   #9 (permalink)
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You got lost in the atmosphere
i fell down in a hole
mystery speaks in tounges
But my heart you stole

Flip the jupiter signs
forget all the bad times
fly on to neptune
cause baby i'll see ya soon
Does that line work?
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Old 04-21-2009, 04:06 PM   #10 (permalink)
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yes nice
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